About Deborah

My training programme grew out of this practical experience. It's a way to share what I've learned with women who want to offer other women tantric massage with skill and care.

My childhood and early adulthood were difficult. A lack of loving attention and some painful experiences left lasting marks. I often felt misunderstood and alone. For much of my life, I struggled to feel that I belonged here. Accepting myself felt difficult; loving myself seemed even further away.

I tried to stay invisible. Yet that sense of disconnection eventually led me towards healing and self-love. Over the past 25 years, that journey has changed my life.

At 23, a Reiki initiation sparked my interest in spiritual growth. I read widely and attended many courses. Looking back, I spent the first twelve years understanding ideas without fully knowing how to live them. I trained in naturopathic energy therapy, lightwork, cosmic and flower therapies, healing arts, mindfulness and life coaching. These gave me a broad foundation, but a deeper change came later.

Vipassana meditation helped me through some of the hardest periods. On eight occasions, I spent ten days in silent retreat. Those retreats became a lifeline, offering rest and teaching me to stay with life as it was.

For years, I felt trapped in pain, shame and self-rejection. What helped me continue was the thought that if such darkness could exist, light must be possible too. That gave me enough hope to keep looking.

The lotus growing from mud is an image often used in tantra. It captures something of my own experience: the most difficult parts of my life eventually became the ground for growth, love, strength and the work I do now.

In 2012, I began exploring tantra, shamanism, ayahuasca and plant spirit healing, multidimensional healing and hypnotherapy. My spiritual practice became more grounded in my body and everyday experience.

Tantra helped me reconnect with my body, my heart and my pelvis. I learned to feel safer within myself, allow pleasure and experience a sense of vitality again. In tantra groups, I felt seen and reflected back with kindness. I began to see myself differently and recognise my own worth. I rediscovered feminine strength, softness, joy and aliveness.

Shamanism deepened my connection with nature and the unseen world. Through it, I explored a relationship with plants, trees and spirit, and felt part of something larger. Plant ceremonies and shamanic practice helped me release old patterns and imagine a different life.

Hypnotherapy helped me understand subconscious patterns and reach parts of myself that felt hidden: old beliefs, pain and forgotten strengths. It became another way to explore healing and inner freedom.

I went on to train as a shamanic healer, tantric massage practitioner, hypnotherapist and Taoist priestess and teacher. I also travelled abroad for further tantra training.

In 2017, I spent six weeks in the Peruvian jungle. My experiences with ayahuasca and other plant teachers helped me work through childhood and adolescent trauma. I remain deeply grateful for that time.

For years, plant spirit practices were part of my life. I worked with ayahuasca, wachuma, mapacho, truffles and traditional plant dietas. These experiences brought insight, direction and a stronger sense of connection with my higher self.

Over the past year, I've felt ready to leave most of that path behind. Through my energy work, I now choose to work primarily with energies I experience as belonging to my own field. Truffles remain part of my personal path, although I no longer feel I need them in the same way.

More recently, I've explored multidimensional approaches to consciousness and energy. In this understanding, we have layers of consciousness and energetic structures that can influence our patterns and experiences.

Working with these ideas has helped me understand myself beyond my personality and life story. Exploring and, as I experience it, recoding those layers has brought greater calm, clarity and direction. This personal understanding now informs part of what I share in my work.

Everything I've lived through and learned contributes to Metta-Ji today. My training, travels and inner work have come together in a practice where people can explore their own experience and reconnect with themselves.

I draw on approaches I've explored personally and chosen with care. Touch, bodywork, energy work, breath, silence and time to integrate are held within a calm, attentive space.

I want Metta-Ji to be a place where you can slow down and feel more at home in your body. Whether you come for a massage, a private session, a workshop or training, you're welcome with care and respect.

For me, tantra is a journey of self-discovery. Massage explores that journey through the senses. Sessions and workshops offer ways to explore your beliefs, self-image and relationships.

I bring what I've learned to support you in your own exploration. You set the pace. Your boundaries always matter.

I look forward to meeting you, and perhaps sharing part of your journey.

I am another you,

Deborah El Ka Ma'a